The Prophecy of Bob
by Gempol
Summary: Bob is a normal rager/scentseer/sexy person. But what will happen when a prophecy calls Bob to fight the Bane? This story is written badly on purpose. Written by Gempol and Prophe-De-Esperanza. UPDATED WITH THREE NEW CHAPTERS!
1. the dangerus jurni

A/N: Alright, Prophe and I or Gempol and I, depending on which  
way you you look at it were utterly bored. And we created "The  
Prophecy of Bob." We love fanfiction, we really do, but we wanted to  
give an example of some really horrible stuff, you know? So, we're not  
blithering idiots, nor were we high or anything when we wrote this.  
Simply... bored. And it was a good idea. Basically, "The Prophecy of  
Bob" is showing how badly written, how bad a plot can be... and we had  
a hell of a lot of fun doing it :3

We'll put up a warning now: "Bob" has very Gary-Stu-like tendencies.  
You'll see in a moment. Also, there is something that comes later that  
can be vaguely called "sex" but it's more like... not sex. It's funny,  
trust me. If any mods or admins find this "unsuitable" it's  
flipping hilarious then you can remove it or w/e... It's not  
pornographic in the least. Prophe: yea...I wrote it. Very lame, but  
so much that it was hilarious.

Also: Yes, two people are going to be writing this ridiculous stuff.  
It takes two idiots to write something this idiotic, I suppose.  
Prophe: Gem's my idiot... you can't have 'im! Um, i's rated T for  
badly written prophecies, Stu-like tendencies, slight language... the  
usual stuff. Trust me, reading this may make you realize how badly  
some fanfiction could be written. -grin-

The Prophecy of Bob  
by Gempol and Prophe

Intro

Bob is an Overlander. A very sexy Overlander. He is a rager, a  
scentseer cool and witty. He is tall and has red eyes. He is really  
cool, and sexy! He can smel stuff gud, cause he is a scentseer and a  
rager. And he is Sexy. Everybody loves him...

So one day, drop dead sexy Bob was just chilling around new york city,  
smelling people's emotions. there was a guy cheating on his wife; Bob  
knew, because he was a scentseer and could smell his intentions, he  
was cheating on her for her sister.

Bob felt that that was really really bad, and decided to stop it. but  
as he was walking over to them, he fell into a whole, the manhole  
kind, and suddenly, he was underground, he knew, because he was a  
scentseer, that he could smel think and that the rat who was not far  
away was thinking "this is the underland, overlander" and he knew that  
he was in a different world.

chapter one

bob could here this ratz thoughtz and knew that he was a good rat but  
wanted to provoke him, and he could read his thoughts, and...

The Fight With Ripred.

"Are you calling me a gangsta, you big rat?" Bob said. He was angry.

"Yo right I'm calling ya gangsta." Ripred said.

"Shut the up you freaking fo' shizzle!" Bob said.

"You shut that blabbering mouse trap, emo dude!" Ripred said.

Then Bob was, like, really getting mad. So he pounced on Ripred. He  
was a rager now. He was perfect at battling in his state. Then they  
were, like, rolling around and humping each other-it looked liked it-

"You jealous cause I'm sexy!" Bob said, punching Ripred.

"You jealous cause I'm a fo' shizzle!" Ripred said, punching him.

"You're a freaking poser, God darn it!" Bob said, punching Ripred.

Then they was, like, a lot of blood and everything. Yeah, Bob wad winning.

Then Ripred sat down, exhausted!

"I beat ya, fo' shizzle."

"Fo shizzle in the lime light, rad dude. You a freaking shizzle manizzle."

Meanwhile, Gregor and luxa were making out and it was really hot  
kissing and he was touching her and stuff, and soon they were naked  
and still kissing and then they had sex. Like, really good sex. You  
know, the kind that only happens in crazy erotica, hot slash, and  
movies... Like, so good that you're like "OMG"...

And THEN...

-end chapter one-


	2. profeci reveald

Wow, I guess I should post the other three chapters here. ;p

A/N: Heeey. We wrote chapter two. It's very... interesting. We  
wrote it fast, no? Yes, it's so ridiculous it's funny... As a heads  
up, anything in this chapter that constantly says "fo'shizzle" or  
"yo" would be written by me [Gempol] and anything that lacks those  
words was written by Prophe. Very interesting...

Prophe: Heeeey! We did some  
"fanart.".com/images/400*461/BLOG_,

. ... It's a joke. I blame  
Gempol. Those boots? It's Boots as a kid, and as a adult xD  
yaaaaaaaaay!

Chappie 2

Bob was walking in the castl when somebody shouted to him.

"Yo, homey! There's a prophecy about you, yo! You got to see it, yo!"

Bob could smell who shouted to him, cause he was a scentseer and a  
rager and sexy. It was Luksa. Luxa looked kinda of pregnant, yo. Who  
knew what kind of fo' shizzle went on in her room!!!!!1

Bob went to the prophece room and smelled his prophecy, cause he was a  
scentseer. Fo' shizzle, dawg.

Bob looked at the wall.

teh prophecy of bob

The War of Time is over  
Lots of people are dead  
Warrior returns to his homeland  
Then comes back for his Queen  
Everybody's happy

But what's this?  
The Bane is back  
He' gonna kill, you know?  
So a dude has to stop him

That dude is an Overlander  
Named Bob  
He's a scentseer and rager, yo.  
He's sexy too.

He has to kill the Bane  
Yeah, what did you think, yo?  
Ok, should I stop now?

Oh, and Greggy and Luxy will have a baby.  
Cause they have sex  
Without protection, dawg  
That's messud up, manizzle  
That's it for now, peeps!

"On, noez! What r we gonna do, yo?" Luksa said.

"I have to kill this Bane dude." Bob said.

"You must, person I don't know." siad Vikus, the guy who had a stroke.

Bob called his bond, Fo' Shizzle. We're gonna rock this Bane emmo person.

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Gregor was in luxa's room. It was really hot, they were no AC's.  
Gregor was like, yo, Luxa is so hot in that dress, yo.

Luxa was thinking, like, yo, Gregor looks so sexy in those  
short-shorts. Sexier than Bob.

Yo.

Then Gregor Sat next to luxa. His hormones were, like, a stampede or  
something. And they were looking at each other a lot, thinking about  
each other. Yeah, they were passionate abput each other.

And they ripped each other's clothes off and started kissing and  
touching. Then they had sex, I think. Fierce sex, like in Breaking  
Dawn(yo)

They didn't care if they had a million babies or not, they were juts  
humping each other like crazy, yo.

Yo. Gempol is writing this. Surprised?

yo. fo' shizzle sex.

They had fo' shizzle sex. Yo.

When they stoped the room looked like there was a tornado in it, and  
the bed collapsed. Fo' shizzle, yo, yo.

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

the bane was a big rat he had white fur and red eyes [just like Bob's,  
though he didn't know that] and a tale that had grewed back only he  
didn't remember losing it. He knw thEre was a PROPhecy about him only  
he didnt no what it aid so he was getting rats to get in the castl to  
read it for him.

'rats of underland, u no that thar is a prophecy and it says something  
about me so i need a volunteer to do read it becuz i cant." bane said,  
paceing. he stopped cuz TWirltongue was thare saying 'i think that  
well have ares do it after all he is part of our army now' "yes he  
should hes a bat anyway' "yah"

so ares who was a black bat and was back alive cuz teh bane needed him  
had to fly to the castl in regelia to read the prophecy which he  
didn't no said anything 'bout a dude named Bob till he red it and then  
he was saying "bob is a sexy overlander... a rager and scentseer oh  
the baen doesnt stand a chance' so he decidead to play ded and suprise  
everyone.

so then wuith the bane he was saying 'the bat has falin into a trap to  
ill hav to just go and kill bob myself cuz bob is a sexy overlander so  
hell be easy to beat and so ill hav to beat him becuz twirltongue says  
bob is too sexy for his own good.

so in regelia boots suddenly came down cuz she herd the comoshin and  
realeyezed that she needed to grow up and so she sed she was going to  
go be hostage ande then bob would beat the bane and boots would be  
saved and she wuld fall in love with uber-smexxy bob.

BUT...

-end chapter 2-

Gempol: Fo' shizzle! I wrote a sex scene!! I claim fo' shizzle sex.


	3. luksa's bebbe

chapter three:

"Yo, homeys!" Luxa shouted.

Every1 in teh castl was listening,  
cause she was the queen and she was made of fo'shizzle.

"O SNAP! I'm preggo, yo!" Luxa shouted.  
She had a ginormous baby bump made out of fo' shizzle, yo.

"Oh noez!!! The prophecy has come true! Luxa is preggo!"  
Solovet screamed.

"I gonna name the baby Shahania!" Gregor said, thinking about limes.

"I'm preggo!" Luxa shouted.

Then she fell to the floor, spitting up blood and stuff.  
She was, like, giving birth.  
Bob flew in with his wings, and smelled that  
Luxa was giving birth becasue he was a scentseer and a rager and sexy.

He became rager and tackled Luksa in the stomach.

"WTF//" Gregor said.

But Bob was right, tackling Luxa  
made the baby pop out.

"OH MY EFFING RIPRED!!! I GAVE BIRTH TO A GNAWER!!!"  
Luxa said.

The gnawer had white fur and red eyes.  
He was da semi-Bane, fo' shizzle.

"What kind of frekin' fo'shizzle did you yo  
into that girl, idiot shizzle!!" Twirltongue said.

Then Bob used his sexy rager powers and made everyone  
go to sleep while he helped the baby eat food.  
Luxa was like, WTF I gave borth to a gnawer, yo.

A gnawer, yo.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boots was , like, in the Underland. She was walking around  
the castle looking for Bob. She was twenty years old, she  
got aged in a voodoo time spell.

"Hey, Boots, yo homey fashizzle?" Bob said.

"No shizzle in the manizzle, Bob." She was blushing.

"...okay." Bob was blushing tooo.

"You're sexy!"

"You smell like shoes....I like it." Bob said.

Then day kissed each other, cause they loved each other.  
They were all like, smoochy goody.  
They didnt have sex yet, that was for their  
second encounter, fo' shizzle.

Then Gregor saw them, holding his gnawer daughter, Shahania. He saw them making out!

"WTF, you rapo dude!" Gregor said. He  
*dropped* the baby and pulled Bob away from Boots.

They were like, kinda fighting, yo.  
Gregor was mad.

Then Bob threw him out the castl window.  
Then he was making out with Boots again.  
Then the Shahania sneaked into the kitchen and  
drank, milk. She was thirsty.

"Yo homeys! Luxa siad. She was  
walking out of the building with  
Shahania, the gnaer babay.

She saw Gregor on the floor, so she *dropped* the baby and sent him to the hospital.

Meanwhile, Bob and boots were boyfriend and girl friednd.  
They were thinking about having kids, fo' shizzle.

Fo' shizle.

O SNAP, my microwave exploded...........uch.

Bob is smexy

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

bob was pissed an so he was going to take it out on gregor and so RipREd called a rager fight in the arena and everyone came. There Was a Way that bob said "come on fight me!" that turned Gregor on, but he wasnt going to say that tho, becuz bob knew he was sexy to girls & guys and he didnt tguml that gregor was bold enough to say it so he let it go.

"ur a weekling!" bob says to gregor, who hits him with a punhc bt bob isnt hurt he smiles and hits gregor across the arena and says "i win" and walks to boots and then gregor gets mad.

Shahania wsa somewear gettin droped on hr hed sum moer, and then she sayid "i hate you!' to luxa and walked off. ah. babies...

bob and margaret had sex. yay. authoress of this section refuses to give out what exactly happens, cuz she doesnt write erotica, or lemons period. even tame ones. [except once] and she's so very very lazy. all boots knew was that bob was exhausted, he was really good, an that she wanted to go to sleep.

she did that.

HOWEVER....

[end]


	4. howurd's bebbe and stuff

so now ares waz playing dead foshizzleand eery1 was like hoyeah wut up playa got pregnant or dope **** ~~~___~~~~

Chapter 4 i dink-

ares wuz playin' dead like a dog then temp tripped over him and wuz like all 'wtf you homo wth are you fuggin doin with my antennae you fo shizzligng playa!' then twirltongu was twirling her ttoingu and like all in yo' face and then aya came along wit her ego and wuz lyk all

'ima more twiltongue dan u u rat thing"

den everyone wuz fighting and boots wuz made for walkin and shahania wuz droped agen and yeah

den aya wun the battele and had eVeN biiGER EGO dEn everyone wuz ylk yo aya won fo shizzle ans the ares eat temp and boots get mad and every1 get all pissed and yeah.

PART FIVE-

yeah now the author of this section skipped ovur part two tree four becuz he was tired and wuz supposed to write sometin but forget and yeah noq lets continie.

so now ares waz playing dead foshizzleand eery1 was like hoyeah wut up playa got pregnant or dope **** ~~~___~~~~

PART SIX-

so now we are back in duh story. i had a seizure on the yekboard befur but now i took my medicine and i am bettah. oh t3h no3z if feel somtin goin' on!

THE MEMORIAM OF A CRAWLER AND A SEKSY HUMAN

Yo, said howard, I'ma foshizzle temp and get all preggo loike luksa so I can have a baby like luksa cu I'm jealous liek luksa. Fo'shizzle nights later Howard took the preggo test and found out dat HE WUZ PREGGO OMGZZZ! but den he got sick and vomited potatoes and stuff.

sho bob came to dah resuce and TAckled him in dah stomach agen just like with uksa. but he missed and it hit howard's thingys so dey exploded which made a big gap. den the baby went through the gap and wuz birtheded!

Fo'shizzled rock, baybay!

Shania was hungre so wenat and ate milk.  
Boots amde out with bob agen.  
luxa turned lesbo and made out with gregor.  
hamnet wuz like wtf im john lennon.  
I ate chocolate cheese which make me hyper so im gonna write some moar stuff for youz to eksplain moar about how howard and the babe came to be and yeaaah. then there's aslo a new KARAKTER OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!

PART ... WAT NUMBER I LOST COUNT????!!!111111??/////

Fo'shizzle! Howard had his baby, yo! But Solovet was all like I'ma pwn your butt because dah baby was a cockarocahc! Or a crawler in Underland terms! solovet knew this because Bob was a sexy ranger's apprentice and a scentseer and the dude from harry potter.

She was made so she flushed the bay down the toilet and went all emo and gothic.  
Den Howard was realy upset so he fo'shizzled solovet like a XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

i'm tried and u shud be happy dat u even have somtin to read so i'm going to werite moar!!!111111111111111111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111

PART SOMETHING CAN SOME1 TELL ME THE NUMBER WHERE ARE YOU MY BETA!!!!

OMGZ Luxa was reading Twilight and she really liked it so she went to Gregor and injected vampire venom into him so he turned into EDVARD CULEN!!! OMGZZ! Then she changed her name to bella and mde out with him and named her baby shahania NESSIE!! short for LOCH NESS MONSTEER YAYZ0RZ YO!

DISCLAMER; I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT BUT I DO OWN STEPHANIE MEYER BECUZ I AM THE FATHER OF HER CHILD~

PART DAT WAS BETA'D BY SERAPHANIA!

Stumbling from a massive pillar of stone, whoch was fo'shizzled when Bob made his way into the vast tumults and toil of the great vastness of the Underland which would there by for neverthless destroyed by a subway in some sucky fanfiction that has the name prophecy in it, a new figure dropped a few thousand feet from a castle window. It was SHAHANIA!!!!1 Yay~ But then she was all like fo'shizzle wth is wrong with my yo when she saw some1 else. It was a girl with wings! she had big wings and big teeth and wuz part owl although she couldn't fly which is really stupid. I can't come up with a name right now so I'll name her Ari~~~ Yay~!! She was an owl hybrid, yah. she's shoooo cool like who yeah fo'shizzle sexymexy duck ^^^^

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

YAY I MADE A NEW CHARACTER FO'SHIZZLE IT WAS SO AWESOME THE IDEA JUST CAME TO ME RANDOMLY!! DON'T YOU LOvE ARI SHE IS JUST LIKE ME SHE LIS LIKE :3 I LIKE


End file.
